Category Archives: Two Truths One Lie

Liar, Liar

I was just lamenting my inability to respond to the Two Truths, One Lie game as suggested by the inspired SAJ because I don’t have a crystal ball. But just then, the postman arrived at my door and brought me the ultimate…uh…not exactly a unicorn…uh…possibly one of the ugliest little creatures I’ve ever seen…and I have found my muse. MC, your timing couldn’t have been better. I take this as proof of the power of the tribe.

Seer 3
We’re taking suggestions for names. Glorp? Fizzbit? Snarg?

And now, properly accoutered, I give you a selection of Eda’s Oracular Insights. (I will miss my doctor’s appointment if I take the time to respond to all of them, and helping pass the intervening time was the whole point, but I love each and every response. If anyone wants to keep playing, please comment below or on Facebook.) Entries are in gray, my responses follow.

I lettered in high school. I have read the Lord of the Rings three times. I had a kitten named after a dictator.

  1. Me, too! But then, the whole cross country team did. We were like that.
  2. Liar. Twice, maybe, but not three times.
  3. Excellent! Was it Julius? Attila? Adolph? Donald? My first pet was a brown hamster which I named Brownie. I’ve improved in the creativity department since then. My cats are called Twitchy, Monkey Boy and George.

I once voted for a Republican. I’ve shot a gun. I like eating wild game.

  1. Liar. ‘Nuff said.
  2. Me, too. Nothing to be ashamed of. Carrying one into Walmart is another story.
  3. Yeah, well, I’m game, too. (Sorry.)

Fleetwood Mac was at my first wedding. I hold an orange belt in karate. I’ve visited Africa.

  1. I so hope that’s true. Unless they didn’t sing. That would have sucked.
  2. Liar. You’re tougher than that.
  3. Well, if you haven’t, you should. Bucket list.

I met Weird Al Yankovic in the Tucson Mall. I met Brooks & Dunn in the Warwick RI Airport. I met Jefferson Starship by nearly getting hit by their car.

  1. Liar. I know for a fact that Weird Al has never been to Tucson. (Now who’s lying?)
  2. That’s some kind of a cowboy band, isn’t it? Entirely possible.
  3. Well done. I was once knocked off my bicycle by a Noh actor. I figure if you’re going to get hit, get hit by someone interesting.

I have heard Nina Totenberg having sex. John Turturro (the actor) called me the “C” word. I have been to Japan.

  1. Ah, the paper thin walls of the Wabash Motel 6.
  2. Liar. I will not accept anybody calling any of my tribe members the “C” word.
  3. And we had a lovely time strolling around the imperial palace under the cherry blossoms with the emperor sipping tea. That was a good day.

I speak three languages. I was a sled dog musher. I am related to a former U.S. President.

  1. Coptic, Aramaic and Sanskrit, right? All very useful.
  2. Down, girl!
  3. Liar. Or at least, who would ever admit it?
I am eligible for the DAR. I have been to a nudist camp. I love karaoke.

  1. Me, too. But that also goes on the list of stuff I never tell people.
  2. And we’ve seen the tattoos to prove it!
  3. Liar. We’ve heard you sing.

I played go fish with Walter Mondale. I have traveled to all the contiguous states. I went to a Black Sabbath concert.

  1. And he cheated.
  2. Liar. Everybody always forgets at least one.
  3. Totally possible. My father took me to see Deep Purple when I was ten. He was trying to be cool and didn’t know any better.

I have sky-dived. I was a contestant on Jeopardy! I took a llama for a walk.

  1. Me, too! Crossed that one off the bucket list years ago.
  2. Liar. But that’s on the bucket list along with the annual crossword puzzle competition in Stamford.
  3. OK, but how do you know he wasn’t walking you?

I was shoved out of the way by Walter Cronkite in the Des Moines airport baggage claim. I won 3rd place for my strawberry jam at the MN State Fair. I was in a NYT article on ballroom dance lessons for kids.

  1. It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?
  2. Liar. It was 1st place. You’re just being modest.
  3. Ah, you twinkle toes. Tiptoe through the tulips….

When I was a kid it bothered me so much when new dolls had no underwear that I would cut up sheets and sew little underpants for them. I compulsively colored inside the lines and if I ever made a mistake would use whiteout to make things right. After reading How to Eat Fried Worms, I dug up and fried a worm and brought it to school in a tiny sandwich for my friend.

  1. I can see that. We may be the product of a somewhat liberated generation, but we were raised by one that wasn’t.
  2. Good thing you got over that! You never would have survived child-rearing.
  3. Liar. It would have had to be a very tiny friend, indeed. And where would you find a tiny-enough lunchbox?

Japan version: I once was a gaijin talento on a Japanese game show called “Mama-san POW”. I once was paid for impersonating a French woman at Isetan Department store in Shinjuku. I once was baptised by a Japanese Christian cult that promised to show me a “traditional Japanese ceremony”.

  1. Yes, we’ve been fighting to free the Mama-san POWs for years.
  2. We foreigners are all the same, after all. We all speak the same language, we’re all six feet tall and none of us can use chopsticks.
  3. Liar. They said it was holy water but it was sake and they were yanking your chain.
I spoke Dutch fluently as a child. I have fostered over 100 dogs for periods of a few days to a year and a half. I grew up with a duck named Goose.
  1. Liar. You were just making silly guttural noises and pretending it was Dutch.
  2. Of course you did, and you’re a better person because of it.
  3. Remember when we were young enough to think that kind of thing was funny? Why did the chicken cross the road? What color was George Washington’s white horse? What’s green and says, “I’m a frog?”

Loss if innocence is an inevitable part of growing up, and those few of us who don’t manage it end up lost in eternal childhood. I can’t judge whether or not that’s a good thing, but with all of its challenges and tribulations, real life also brings joy, fulfillment, satisfaction and sometimes, when we’re lucky, bliss. On those days when it’s hard to get out of bed, I try to remind myself of how much less life would be, how much less I would be, without a little struggle. Still, sometimes I lie on the floor and put my feet up in the air and count my toes just because they’re there.

My turn. Which is the lie?
  1. I have about a bazillion pairs of unicorn socks.
  2. I love vegetables but eggplant makes me gag.
  3. I am going to let cancer get the best of me.