I was just lamenting my inability to respond to the Two Truths, One Lie game as suggested by the inspired SAJ because I don’t have a crystal ball. But just then, the postman arrived at my door and brought me the ultimate…uh…not exactly a unicorn…uh…possibly one of the ugliest little creatures I’ve ever seen…and I have found my muse. MC, your timing couldn’t have been better. I take this as proof of the power of the tribe.
And now, properly accoutered, I give you a selection of Eda’s Oracular Insights. (I will miss my doctor’s appointment if I take the time to respond to all of them, and helping pass the intervening time was the whole point, but I love each and every response. If anyone wants to keep playing, please comment below or on Facebook.) Entries are in gray, my responses follow.
I lettered in high school. I have read the Lord of the Rings three times. I had a kitten named after a dictator.
- Me, too! But then, the whole cross country team did. We were like that.
- Liar. Twice, maybe, but not three times.
- Excellent! Was it Julius? Attila? Adolph? Donald? My first pet was a brown hamster which I named Brownie. I’ve improved in the creativity department since then. My cats are called Twitchy, Monkey Boy and George.
I once voted for a Republican. I’ve shot a gun. I like eating wild game.
- Liar. ‘Nuff said.
- Me, too. Nothing to be ashamed of. Carrying one into Walmart is another story.
- Yeah, well, I’m game, too. (Sorry.)
Fleetwood Mac was at my first wedding. I hold an orange belt in karate. I’ve visited Africa.
- I so hope that’s true. Unless they didn’t sing. That would have sucked.
- Liar. You’re tougher than that.
- Well, if you haven’t, you should. Bucket list.
I met Weird Al Yankovic in the Tucson Mall. I met Brooks & Dunn in the Warwick RI Airport. I met Jefferson Starship by nearly getting hit by their car.
- Liar. I know for a fact that Weird Al has never been to Tucson. (Now who’s lying?)
- That’s some kind of a cowboy band, isn’t it? Entirely possible.
- Well done. I was once knocked off my bicycle by a Noh actor. I figure if you’re going to get hit, get hit by someone interesting.
I have heard Nina Totenberg having sex. John Turturro (the actor) called me the “C” word. I have been to Japan.
- Ah, the paper thin walls of the Wabash Motel 6.
- Liar. I will not accept anybody calling any of my tribe members the “C” word.
- And we had a lovely time strolling around the imperial palace under the cherry blossoms with the emperor sipping tea. That was a good day.
I speak three languages. I was a sled dog musher. I am related to a former U.S. President.
- Coptic, Aramaic and Sanskrit, right? All very useful.
- Down, girl!
- Liar. Or at least, who would ever admit it?
- Me, too. But that also goes on the list of stuff I never tell people.
- And we’ve seen the tattoos to prove it!
- Liar. We’ve heard you sing.
I played go fish with Walter Mondale. I have traveled to all the contiguous states. I went to a Black Sabbath concert.
- And he cheated.
- Liar. Everybody always forgets at least one.
- Totally possible. My father took me to see Deep Purple when I was ten. He was trying to be cool and didn’t know any better.
I have sky-dived. I was a contestant on Jeopardy! I took a llama for a walk.
- Me, too! Crossed that one off the bucket list years ago.
- Liar. But that’s on the bucket list along with the annual crossword puzzle competition in Stamford.
- OK, but how do you know he wasn’t walking you?
I was shoved out of the way by Walter Cronkite in the Des Moines airport baggage claim. I won 3rd place for my strawberry jam at the MN State Fair. I was in a NYT article on ballroom dance lessons for kids.
- It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?
- Liar. It was 1st place. You’re just being modest.
- Ah, you twinkle toes. Tiptoe through the tulips….
When I was a kid it bothered me so much when new dolls had no underwear that I would cut up sheets and sew little underpants for them. I compulsively colored inside the lines and if I ever made a mistake would use whiteout to make things right. After reading How to Eat Fried Worms, I dug up and fried a worm and brought it to school in a tiny sandwich for my friend.
- I can see that. We may be the product of a somewhat liberated generation, but we were raised by one that wasn’t.
- Good thing you got over that! You never would have survived child-rearing.
- Liar. It would have had to be a very tiny friend, indeed. And where would you find a tiny-enough lunchbox?
Japan version: I once was a gaijin talento on a Japanese game show called “Mama-san POW”. I once was paid for impersonating a French woman at Isetan Department store in Shinjuku. I once was baptised by a Japanese Christian cult that promised to show me a “traditional Japanese ceremony”.
- Yes, we’ve been fighting to free the Mama-san POWs for years.
- We foreigners are all the same, after all. We all speak the same language, we’re all six feet tall and none of us can use chopsticks.
- Liar. They said it was holy water but it was sake and they were yanking your chain.