…there have been a few rumors about the sudden and unexplained absence of the Mouse.
One has the Mouse with her tail stuck in a revolving door at the Mitsukoshi department store in Ginza where she has been going round and round for several weeks.
This is untrue. Mice never use revolving doors, and Mitsukoshi doesn’t have them anyway. Plus the Mouse does not go to Ginza and the Mouse does not shop at Mitsukoshi. If the Mouse wants gold plated toothpicks, she’ll make them herself.
Nor is it true that the Mouse has taken up residence in Cinderella’s Castle at Disneyland. She would never take a chance on being spotted with the Other Mouse, who is a rather silly fellow and something of a merchandising slut. Plus that voice? It works for Frankie Valli; inappropriate for a self-respecting mouse.
The Mouse will admit, however, that a visit to Disneyland on a rainy Thursday afternoon in February, although damp and chilly, is a wonderful experience. It really is a magical kingdom when there’s nobody there and she does have a weakness for It’s A Small World.
Yet another patently untrue rumor is that she has found a secret entrance to the Tokyu Food Show and sneaks in at night to nibble on the imported French cheeses, leaving behind toothmarks and toe prints.
We officially disavow any knowledge of those responsible for such uncouth behavior. The Mouse uses a china plate and a silver knife. Her cheese is accompanied by crisp baguette, although depending on the exchange rate, those elegant trappings are often replaced with Velveeta and saltines.
The truth is that the Mouse found herself a little overwhelmed. The sights, sounds and smells of Bali were everything that she had hoped for, but she was unprepared for how those experiences would change her perspective on life in Tokyo, and still hasn’t figured how or how much any of that matters.
So please allow me to introduce myself. I am Meditation Cat. I am a conduit between the missing Mouse and anyone who is seeking her. I am wise. I am handsome. I am available for consultation on matters grave or trivial but reserve the right to give cryptic advice or none at all. All compliments will be gracefully accepted; all criticism will be wholly ignored.